21 Comments
User's avatar
MutterFodder's avatar

This was really a beautiful and vulnerable essay. We are so often spectators in society, eating popcorn in the stands while we watch real heroes fight the good fights. Greg, you are one of those heroes, and you are actually making the world a better place at great personal cost. Having left the cult I grew up in, I know what it's like to be shunned by community and people I loved because I was true to my integrity. It's a heavy price to pay, but you couldn't live with yourself otherwise. I have tremendous respect for the personal sacrifices you have made on the battlefield. Thank you for all you have done.

Joseph Corlett's avatar

I couldn't have said it better. Thanks.

Dave Morrison's avatar

I'm not sure that I have even one person whose counsel I fully trust to be accurate.

Branson Edwards's avatar

That's what I was thinking. I have a few, but ten? I'm gonna start working the list.

No Namy's avatar

Another clarifying insight on "I don't care what people think" is, "then that's what you want people to think." It's inescapable!

Gulistan's avatar

I can't say it better than MutterFodder: "I have tremendous respect for the personal sacrifices you have made on the battlefield. Thank you for all you have done."

My daughter is thinking of a career in law, so I'm pointing her in FIRE's direction every chance I get.

Joe T's avatar

Great piece, wish I could like it more than once. I'm not sure I even know 10 people I would put on my list, but will start with 5. Thanks for the tribute to your mentor, and for all that you've done at FIRE.

Lisa St.Claire's avatar

What a lovely tribute. I’m very grateful for the work you do and the principles you defend.

David Murray's avatar

Thanks for everything you do. Just a thought: has anyone ever suggested you make God the top of your ten?

Greg Lukianoff's avatar

Well, I am an atheist, but I do find religion extremely interesting! Even read the whole Bible from cover to cover a couple years back.

donkeystringbean's avatar

It's the Tao that matters. The shared aspects of all religions, the universally edifying myths.

Joseph Corlett's avatar

Your reading the Bible explains the atheism we share.

Jack Jordan's avatar

I read that Voltaire offered related thoughts well worth considering:

"In the beginning God created man in His own image, and man has been trying to repay the favor ever since."

"If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated."

Casey Given's avatar

What prose! Very moving tribute.

Guy Bassini's avatar

I think that ten is probably too many. My experience is that a person has no more than five people in their lives before whom they do not need to pretend. We have our public personas and our cocktail party faces. Maintaining them is exhausting.

ken terry's avatar

I think I like you even more after reading this. And I really like Harvey for helping you get back up and continue the fight. I hadn't considered the toll one paid for intentionally placing yourself in the middle of that battle. Thanks for the sacrafice, and many thanks to Harvey also. You both have done tremendous good for so many who will never even know it. And some that do.

Gil Gilliam's avatar

This is wonderful advice, and possibly life-changing. It does make me wonder though... If I identify the ten people whose opinion of me matters most, and each of those ten people do the same, and so on, would we eventually get to a shared value foundation upon which a society rests? Also, if that shared value foundation goes one way, one might get the society that started the American Revolution. If it went another, one might end up with the French Revolution. At worst, one ends up with the never-ending tribal and clan-based societies of the world. What are the deciding factors in which way it turns out?

Chris Myers Asch's avatar

Wonderful advice, Greg. Thanks for sharing Harvey’s wisdom. We all do indeed care about what other people think, especially those who profess loudly that they don’t. I love the idea of finding your ten. I haven’t done it consciously, but I found that I do have a key handful of people that I go to when I need a reality check.

Kelly Alvin Madden's avatar

“Don’t count your critics, weigh them.”

And today I learned:

Beforehand.

Joe Shapiro's avatar

Thank you for putting none of this post behind the firewall.

Jeffrey Peoples's avatar

You can count 10 people you trust with your ego? You are a lucky man. Consider yourself blessed. Either that, or you still have much more room to be intellectually independent.