Announcing the new ‘Coddling’ documentary and some advice on fighting depression

The books and approaches that probably saved my life

Feb 15, 2024

On February 22, a documentary version of my and Jonathan Haidt’s book “The Coddling of the American Mind” will be released exclusively on Substack. I am so excited for you all to see it. It’s directed by Ted Balaker and follows the stories of five twenty-somethings who entered college with high hopes but instead faced a serious mental health crisis sparked by the anxiety- and depression-inducing climate that Jonathan and I outlined in our book.

While we cover a great deal of ground in the book, the documentary zeros in on the topic I learned about the hard way: depression. More specifically, it shows through the testimony of students from all over the country — and in fact all over the globe — how we are teaching a generation of young people the mental habits of anxious and depressed people, and so we should not be surprised that we have a mental health calamity on our hands.

I love this documentary because it makes the concepts in the book truly come alive. It's been embraced by diverse audiences of all ages at sneak-peek screenings on campuses like Duke, UVA, CU Boulder, and Pepperdine.

In anonymous responses, 40 undergrads were asked to choose words to describe the movie, and the most common responses clustered around "stimulating" and "truthful."

The cool thing about the movie being on Substack is that it offers not just a one-time experience, but an ongoing journey — where subscribers can follow the film as it screens at campuses and other venues all over the nation. The filmmakers hope to pave the way for other heterodox filmmakers to reach large audiences through Substack.

The premiere will take place in Beverly Hills on February 21 and will include a Q&A period featuring the filmmakers, me, and other on-camera subjects. The event is invitation-only, but the filmmakers have made some seats available to my subscribers.

If you would like to attend, please email SusanLSelf@gmail.com.

Also be sure to subscribe to the “Coddling” documentary’s Substack for more information about the project and to pre-order the film.

My advice to folks who are struggling with depression

Since publishing the original “Coddling” article with Jon in 2015, and a companion article talking about my own struggles with depression, strangers often reach out to me to ask what they should do when they are struggling as well. I feel simultaneously honored and terrified by the idea, which is why I have a whole speech prepared to answer people’s questions, starting with:

“Are you thinking of harming yourself? If so, take any moment of clarity you have to immediately call a hotline, tell a friend, or get yourself admitted.” (I called 911.)

One time, the person who contacted me couldn’t even bring himself to say he was suicidal. He just referred to the page number on which I expressed suicidal thoughts. That was all I needed to demand he get himself checked in somewhere right away.

The role of medication, ketamine, and EMDR

Some people falsely assume that because I regularly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (a drug-free treatment we’ll get to in a moment) that I do not believe that medication could help people struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

When you are in your most acute stage of depression, medication can be absolutely essential — and that’s why you have to talk to your doctor right away, get yourself checked into a clinic, and do whatever it takes to get through that particularly dark period.

Less effective for me was Ketamine treatment, which I tried in recent years to help with a less severe bout of depression and anxiety. Don’t take my word for it though, as I’ve heard it’s very effective for some people. And the experience itself is … something else.

I have also relied on some nonmedical interventions that are considered to be fairly experimental including eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or EMDR. This is a therapy for people suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, and panic disorders, and is based on the idea that disturbing memories are damaging when they aren’t properly processed in our brains.

EMDR therapy is not easy, as it requires thinking about things that you usually cannot think about without a powerful emotional response like panic. But somehow the treatment (which involves tracking eye movements with various stimuli) led me for the first time to be able to see traumatic moments in my life as if I were watching them on TV rather than reliving them on a visceral level.

I know EMDR doesn’t work for everyone, but it was very successful for me. You can learn more about it at the EMDR Institute’s website.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

It will surprise no one who’s read anything I’ve ever written that I strongly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which has had an incredibly positive effect on my life. Basically, CBT is about developing techniques and habits for breaking through the negative or irrational beliefs (also called cognitive distortions) that can overwhelm you and contribute to your depressive states. These techniques can be good at calming you down in the short term, and they’re even more effective if you practice them over a long period of time.

Eventually, the responses to your cognitive distortions become natural habits. David D. Burns’ “Feeling Good” is the classic intro book to CBT. The CBT expert Robert Leahy was extraordinarily helpful when Jonathan and I were writing “Coddling.” You can find out more about his practice, work, and books on his American Institute for Cognitive Therapy webpage.

Many people would also really benefit from working with a CBT-trained therapist. You would be amazed at how good your brain can be at constructing a narrative in which you’re broken and hopeless. A smart therapist can really help untangle that.

It’s quite profound that a strategy for learning to argue fairly and rationally with yourself can dramatically improve anxiety and depression. And that’s why I’d suggest CBT even for those who don’t struggle with serious anxiety or depression. Knowing about cognitive distortions provides you with excellent rules for not only arguing fairly and rationally with yourself, but also with others. (It turns out both Eastern and Western philosophers were onto something. Jonathan and I discuss this in “Coddling” as well).

Books I recommend for both dealing with and thinking about depression

The top book I recommend is Alex Korb’s “The Upward Spiral.” I would even recommend buying the audiobook and listening to it while walking and getting some fresh air. It’s the best book I’ve found to read when you’re feeling depressed.

If you’re not currently battling depression and want to know more about strategies for happiness, I recommend my “Coddling” co-author Jonathan Haidt’s book, “The Happiness Hypothesis.” It’s a great and serious look at what actually works.

For the big picture of lifetime happiness, I strongly recommend my friend Jon Rauch’s book, “The Happiness Curve.” The bad news? People’s happiness tends to bottom out in the U.S. sometime in their 40s. The GREAT news? The reported happiness of older people is much higher than you might expect. This is an especially helpful tonic for those of us who were misled that you’re supposed to be happiest when you’re a teenager or twenty-something. Finding out that people can be remarkably happy later in life is a hopeful message that certainly improved my outlook.

It also pairs nicely with my final book recommendation, Peter Attia’s recent bestseller, “Outlive,” which has practical advice on how to live longer and take better care of your health, sleep, and mental health. It includes a powerful testimonial from Dr. Attia himself about struggling through his own mental health crisis that is both moving and, at times, gut-wrenching. It was a real service for someone so accomplished and successful to share that even people like him struggle, and I’m eternally thankful to him for it.

I have a lot more to say on depression — in particular, how to help when a friend of yours is severely depressed. For instance, I recently came across some powerful advice in David Brooks’ latest, “How to Know a Person,” which I hope to cover in detail in future posts. Stay tuned!